Funny Source Code Comments

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  ## '-. `     '  /-._.-'    ',/
  ##    )         \            '.
  ##   / _    _    |             \
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  ##  \   .-.                     ;  
  ##   '-('' ).-'       ,'       ;
  ##      '-;           |      .'
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  ##         | |  |  ``/  /`  /
  ##        /,_|  |   /,_/   /
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Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong."); 
throw up; //ha
 

  
//
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
// 

///
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will 
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets 
// released into the public.
//
 

//
// somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Login screen
// somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass
//

/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me.
 * Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
 * night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.
 */ 

 
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD
// format. PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it
// such would be an insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD
// is an abysmal format. Having worked on this code for several weeks now, my
// hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire that burns with the fierce passion
// of a million suns.
//
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in
// different places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would
// think of, and do those too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for
// instance, did it suddenly decide that *these* particular chunks should be
// aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement should *not* be included in
// the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned, or aligned with
// the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included. Either
// one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one.
// PSD, of course, uses all three, and more.
//
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the
// attic of your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark
// attack on his 58th birthday. That last detail may not be important for the
// purposes of the simile, but at this point I am spending a lot of time
// imagining amusing fates for the people responsible for this Rube Goldberg of
// a file format.
//
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format.
// To do this, I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have
// them consider sending me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing
// them a copy of some document or other, probably signed in blood. I can only
// imagine that they make this process so difficult because they are intensely
// ashamed of having created this abomination. I was naturally not gullible
// enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done so, I would have
// printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire. Were it
// within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.

 
const int TEN=10; // As if the value of 10 will fluctuate...

 
#Christmas tree initializer  
    toConnect = []  
    toRead =   [  ]  
    toWrite = [    ]   
    primes = [      ]  
    responses = {}  
    remaining = {}

 
long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

 
//This code sucks, you know it and I know it.  
//Move on and call me an idiot later.

doRun.run(); // ... "a doo run run". 

 
# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file

 
# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

 
// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

 
//Dear future me. Please forgive me. 
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am. 

 
/* You are not meant to understand this */

// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

// I have to find a better job

 
// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

last = first; /* Biblical reference */

/**
 * This isn't the right way to deal with this, but today is my last day, Ron
 * just spilled coffee on my desk, and I'm hungry, so this will have to do...
**/
return 12; // 12 is my lucky number

// I know the line below is wrong, but it came that way from our IP vendor, and 
// the driver won't work if you "fix" it. I've had to revert this change 4 times
// now. Leave it alone, or I will hunt you down and hurt you
if (r = 0) {
    /* bunch of code here */
}
else
{
   /* even more code here */
}

 
ICantBelieveImUsingAGoto:

 
class Act //That's me!!!
{
..
}

 
try {
...
}
catch (SQLException ex) {
    // Basically, without saying too much, you're screwed. Royally and totally.
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
    //If you thought you were screwed before, boy have I news for you!!!
}

public boolean isDirty() {
    //Why do you always go out and
    return dirty;
}

// John! If you'll svn remove this once more,
// I'll shut you, for God's sake!
// That piece of code is not �something strange�!
// That is THE AUTH VALIDATION.

/**
 *after hours of consulting the tome of google
 * i have discovered that by the will of unknown forces
 * without the below line, IE7 believes that 6px = 12px
**/
font-size: 0px;

 
// If you're reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

// If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know
// who wrote it

 
/**
 * If you don't understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
 */